riveraericanevolutionary

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Over the years, my relationship
with Erica has evolved.

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River America, without the "m."

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Is that silly?

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I’ve seen so many people put
her on a pedestal, and I realize
I’ve been doing the same thing.

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But these days, I find
myself pushing back.

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Come here and give me a hand.

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Erica is so good at subtly
directing conversations.

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She deflects the difficult
questions and puts a
positive spin on everything.

01:13:41.543 --> 01:13:43.545
It’s starting to drive me crazy.

01:13:45.546 --> 01:13:48.800
Were there ever times
where you’ve felt regret
about transitioning?

01:13:50.010 --> 01:13:52.888
I don't think I've ever
felt regret about what,

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what happened to me after
transitioning or what my life...

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became after transitioning,
what I did or didn’t do
after that.

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I always thought of my
transition as an opportunity
to create good from bad.

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Always?

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You use the word
frustration, and I think you...

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that sort of provides a sort
of framework for the
questions you’ve been asking.

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And frustration is not
one of the things that
I’ve felt since transitioning.

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I would never describe
my transition as making me
frustrated at any point.

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I guess I’m trying
to find, like, some
kind of connection to you.

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You’re so confident about
your positions and your ideas.

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Well, you know, if I had
undertaken the challenges that
other people have undertaken,

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if I had decided to become
a leader, for example, which
you have decided to become,

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I could imagine a
lot of frustrations.

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So in that sense,

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I’ve lived more the life
of a follower than of a leader.

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I can’t relate to someone
who doesn’t doubt themselves
is what I’m saying.

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Or question, you know...
“Did I ever make a mistake
being so radically transparent?”

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Because your whole thing
about radical transparency

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should require, like,
more of a visible struggle.

01:15:36.616 --> 01:15:39.786
Well, I think probably...

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That’s a, that’s a criticism

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that I should be
making of myself, that...

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that I should be talking so
much about transparency
and not embodying it.

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I think this encounter
will, will be with
me for quite a while.

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I’ll have to sort of internalize
it and see what it,
what it means to me.

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You know, it has to be
incorporated into who
I am and my trajectory.

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And that will probably
happen because I,
I’m pretty good at that.